Accept vs Respect


Acceptance is an important idea in any eastern philosophy. It’s akin to surrendering to God in Christianity. Google defines it like this:


The action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered.

Zen-ish texts spend a lot of time talking about the importance of acceptance to enter the present moment fully. If you’re rejecting what is then it’s going to be awfully hard to enter into that elusive enlightenment we hear so much about. I think acceptance is a good idea that needs a tweak to match our new narratives for certain words.

We tend to use ‘accept’ in negative ways. When someone tells us to “just accept it” they are saying “it’s shitty and there’s nothing you can do about it so just deal with it”. It brings with it a sense of giving up

Jack Kerouac once gave writers advice, the most poignant for me was:

No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge

To me this means respect your experience.

Respect looks different than acceptance. When you respect what’s right in front of you it puts you in a more exciting posture that acceptance does. Acceptance can be misunderstood to mean sloth and white flags where respect gives the situation a more energetic attention – and allows us to paint a picture of a different future situation.

Respecting a situation means looking at it honestly and then deciding what to do with it. Acceptance, for me, creates a reluctant surrender.

Respecting a situation forces you to see the positives alongside the negatives. Acceptance often forgets the positive side of the thing.

Respect your situation exactly as it is.

Your situation is your experience and your experience is you. As you respect more of your experiences – thoughts, emotions, actions, interactions, relationships – you will have no choice but to feel an immense respect for yourself.

EDIT: The kickass /r/zen community at reddit had some interesting things to say about this article. przl_OM pointed out that, “when true meaning is grasped, the words are not important anymore to you. Otherwise someone might start to build something on the use of that particular word and decieve himself/herself that “only this one should be right”". He’s right. The only important thing is your primary experience regardless of the words you apply to it. Because we really on words to communicate with others and ourselves I find using more specific language helpful. It’s always aiming at that truth that can’t be put into words. Direct experience is all that matters – have that.

[Thanks to Dr hunter at for showing me this video.]


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    It is important that the wedding couple have some fun although at their wedding event. You must know that the time is designed for party and never for agony, regardless of whether every little thing doesn’t go just as organized it is important to remain optimistic and have a great time. Don’t permit the little things get to you!

    The best thing to the new bride to remember in relation to marriage ceremonies is to be sure that your cosmetics blends effectively. You want to be sure that you cannot see any facial lines on the encounter or throat as this will destroy your photographs and cause you to appearance uncomfortable for your personal special day.

    If you are planning on delivering a fresh couple an extremely sizeable present with their wedding party you must reconsider that choice. They may possess a hard enough time trying to keep every thing prepared without needing that to think about. To help make issues simpler on them you need to deliver the present by postal mail.

    Keep in mind that wedding ceremony is not really your relationship. Strategy a wonderful wedding ceremony, but remember that the wedding is only the starting of your respective marriage and keep that in perspective. It is actually a day to commemorate your love as well as your choice to devote to each other, although the real function is available following that day is over.

    Make certain that every person inside your wedding party knows how they’re getting to wedding ceremony website and home from the wedding ceremony! This is especially essential if you’re will be serving alcoholic drinks, and important if it’s a wide open nightclub. If you’re worried about anyone acquiring way too inebriated, offer you free of charge cab trips to anyone who doesn’t deliver an auto, or travel them property in your limo.

    Creating the responsibility to be with an individual for the rest of your daily life is an extremely significant deal, and so your wedding should be treated with the upmost admiration and with extremely near focus paid to each and every details. Use several of the advice in the following paragraphs to make sure that your wedding day is almost everything it could be.