Knowing Knot

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“I know that I know nothing” usually comes with a smug grin that really says, “I’ve won.”

Nobody really knows that they know nothing though. And that’s confusing.

Descartes thought he knew something. Montaigne said he didn’t.

If you’re really willing to admit you know nothing then you might suffer paralyzing doubt. Nobody feels eureka! at actually not knowing.

Admitting you don’t know is the beginning of constant doubt. Doubt that is painful for a mind that needs to know something. Doubt that can never be safe.

In order to realize that you know nothing you need to believe at some point that you know something.

It’s hard and it doesn’t come with confidence.

Confidence comes once you’ve become okay with not-knowing. It comes when you realize that being wrong is learning. It comes when being right is less important than learning.

It doesn’t let you shrug off somebody else’s idea because now you’re responsible for trying it on.

“I know that I know nothing” forgets that it doesn’t know itself.

Your Legacy

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a messy analogy

a messy analogy

Legacy is our immortality. The continuation of our little fractal extension of the universe. It’s what our living selves stake claim to for after we die.

It’s also an iceberg. You can see the tip but almost all of it is invisible.

You’ll never see it and you’ll barely be able to appreciate it. Outside of your family, it probably won’t get mentioned. It’s guaranteed to make you life better though.

It’s things like goodwill, amor fati, and giving others the permission to enjoy life for no reason.

Good nature, friendliness, and courtesy of heart… have made much greater contributions to culture than those much more famous expressions of this drive, called pity, charity, and self-sacrifice. – Friedrich Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human

I was in Continue reading →

How To Cringe

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I have a friend selling tile. He was forced to jump over the petrifying fear of not knowing what he was doing. He barfed out a sales pitch. Ten days later he is totally comfortable walking in to a place and telling people they need to buy his tile.

I thought it was time for a kiss. I stumbled over the tangling in my stomach and smashed my lips into hers. She was happy about it.

I was scared to say some things to a few people on a blog. Then a bigger blog. Then a book. I’m scared to even do this. It’s more fun now though.

That cold shower is always easier after the water hits. That date is always easier after you’re on it. That presentation is always easier to give once you’ve begun it.

Every one of us cringes when we’re scared. We brace for failure that won’t hurt. We brace for total abandonment. We brace because we’re scared to not know.

Where does the cringe push you? To needing more information? To more consumption? To avoidance? To food? Cigarettes? Sugar? Shame?

Or does it push you into expression? Into saying something you might not mean? Into making something you’re scared of? Into showing the world what you’ve made?

It only takes an instant of work to decide. The work doesn’t look like much, it’s less than a second of being brave. Those instants change everything though. They define the value of the rest of your work.

It’s Smarter Not to Know

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michel de montaigne

Michel Montaigne had coins made with the word epekho on them. Epekho means “I suspend judgement” – an unembarrassed way of saying “I don’t know”. Epekho was his mantra, his answer all the way down the line.

He didn’t even know that he didn’t know. Even to not-knowing, epekho. 

Pyrhho the Skeptic inspired that in him. Pyrrho would sustain pain and maintain that he did not know whether it was better or worse not to have pain. Sextus Empiricus gives an example of what a strong claim of epekho looks like:

To every account I have scrutinized which purports to establish something in dogmatic fashion, there appears to me to be opposed another account, purporting to establish something in dogmatic fashion, equal to it in convincingness or lack of convincingness.

Montaigne’s non-stance pissed off people Continue reading →

Nobody Can Blame You

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Screen shot 2013-05-08 at 4.56.59 PM

Nobody would blame you if you did it good enough.

Nobody would blame you if you tried and it didn’t work out.

Nobody would blame you if you quit, it’s too hard.

Nobody would blame you if you ate poorly, you’ve got a lot going on right now.

Nobody would blame you if you didn’t spend time with friends, you’re busy.

Nobody would blame you if you forgot about the thing you really wanted to do, you’ve got a lot of responsibilities.

Nobody would blame you for not writing that book or picking up guitar.

There isn’t enough time.

It’s exhausting.

 

On the other hand, they’ll blame you for trying after you’ve already failed.

They’ll make you feel bad for eating healthy when they’ve cooked dessert.

They’ll blame you if you lose their money.

They’ll blame you if you write something offensive.

They’ll blame you if you focus on your dream and not theirs.

They’ll laugh because they think it’s too late now.

They’ll question your use of time.

 

It’s hard to choose yourself.

It’s hard to choose now.

 

It’s harder to be smothered by regret on a deathbed.

Why You’re Fat and Small

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A lot of companies paid a lot of money to have this be the picture of health. (Who am I to not include it here!?)

A lot of companies paid a lot of money to have this be the picture of health. (Who am I to not include it here!?)

I’ve been trying to be healthy. Yoda would tell me that there’s no trying about it. I stared at the donut, thought, “Maybe if I bought that health book I wouldn’t eat it,” and shoved it in my face.

I actually paused and thought, “Maybe if I bought that health book I wouldn’t eat it.”

We all know enough about what is healthy that we can have an impeccable diet without learning anything ever again. Cigarettes, soda, beer, liquor, doughnuts, and juice with a pound of dissolved sugar are all pretty obviously bad for us.

We’re all waiting for a system (ie “rational, goal-oriented story”) to save us.

If it’s not health then it’s stress, love, or success. Give me the ABC edition of success please.

We need to have a narrative to make our actions matter.

It’s too difficult to actually look at what’s going on. This isn’t always a bad thing. It’s what makes art beautiful: seeing our life or some part of it expressed in the creation of another. It helps give us frameworks to make our lives make a little more sense. It helps place you in your Hero’s Journey.

context shmontext

context shmontext

Sometimes I wish I didn’t need a story. I wish that I could do what was right without any outside ideas. Just because I know what’s good.

A story let Hitler do his thing and MLK do his. A story lets the Sandwich Artist do his thing and the Starving Artist do his thing. Stories build temples and drop bombs.

I want to make sure I make concrete my favorite stories. I want to go story-less whenever I can but I don’t want to push it.

Needless to say, I bought the book. It hasn’t come yet.

I’ve eaten like a pro since clicking “Purchase” (I also became the proud owner of a book and an idea).

Sometimes we have to act on something “out there” to write a story “in here”.